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Posts tagged Joey Snackpants
Star Trek Into Dorkness (SPOILERS and stuff, nerds.)
2I, like a good science fiction nerd, went to go see Star Trek Into Darkness yesterday. I enjoyed it. It was a good flick. It was fun to watch. It was, though, a bad Star Trek movie. (Or, as my friend Mike Broder put it: it was a good Star Trek fan fiction.)
My credentials for making that analysis as a fanboy are pretty solid. My Star Trek geekness predates my other geeknesses. Proof: http://www.tomcroom.com/archives/6949
So here are three five a lot of immediately obvious things wrong with the movie. (I’m sure there are more, but I’m tired and writing this fairly quickly.)
1. Why the fuck was the Enterprise parked under water? Seriously. No explanation was given and even the chief engineer (seemingly the only sane person in the movie) pointed out how stupid that was.
2. How do alternate timelines turn Latin men into British Caucasians?
3. This movie takes place six months after the first movie. Thus the level of emotional relationship between Kirk and Spock that took over seventeen years in the previous movies for an epic death scene is recreated in an alternate timeline is less than two years?
4. Kirk’s only true love is his ship – not Carol Marcus, so why the fuck is she going on the five year mission?
5. Speaking of which, Carol Marcus was never in Starfleet!
Boobs
6. If they hadn’t started the five year mission yet, how the fuck did they meet Harry Mudd and discover Tribbles?
7. How does the Klingon Empire, a space faring race with a culture of WARFARE, not notice a fucking STAR SHIP sitting in orbit around their HOMEWORLD? Seriously. I’m pretty sure our current technology of things like, you know, TELESCOPES and communication satellites would catch on to something like that pretty damn quick. You’d think a warmongering military race would be watching their six on their own home planet IN THE FUTURE.
8. Along that same thought, how does NONE OF STARFLEET NOTICE THE ENTERPRISE FALLING TO EARTH? We know there are other star ships hanging around. We’ve seen them… in the beginning of the same damn movie. Not a single one thought, “oh, shit! Let’s go try and start beaming people off” or “intercept that with a couple of tractor beams” or even “SHOOT IT DOWN BEFORE IT CRASHES AND KILLS A CITY OR SOMETHING!” Nothing. Not a peep.
Not Boobs.
9. Communicators can reach from a star ship to a bar in San Francisco? REALLY?
WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED:
A. John Harrison should have been JOHN HARRISON – another super human from the SS Botany Bay. The closing scene where we see them all in cryo tubes? The camera should have passed one with a Latin guy with long hair… Khan. John Harrison should have been his own character.
B. Time should have been spent developing relationships through character interactions in the plot; not assuming their existence and rocking off the dime of classic motion picture death scenes.
C. Carol Marcus should have had a topless scene. Would never happen, I know, buy I would have been okay with it.
For once, Joey Snackpants’ anger towards these movies may be justified. (For once.)
So sorry Nina, but Iron Man 3 was a better flick so far this summer.
</rant>
The Year in Review or “WTF HAPPENED IN 2012?”
0This is that time of year when folks begin posting about how this year they’re planning on changing a zillion things and making thinks different somehow. For me, though, I’m not looking forward to changing… I’m looking forward to continuing.
2012 was a hard year, but that’s not a bad thing. As friends and colleagues will tell you – I tend to be a workaholic. I love it. I love the feeling to things getting done and the creative process attached to it in my little geek universe. My friends (my team) and I put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into a number of projects that are now continuing into 2013.
Hell. We’re already in production for two unannounced things in 2014.
Seriously.
The best way to look forward, though, is to remember where you’ve been. SO, here’s my recap of one of the craziest years of my life. Enjoy.
JANUARY
- Reflected on a pretty exciting life thus far in this blog post. No clue what the year was about to bring.
- We were in the thick of planning InvaderCON II: DOOMCON that month, too.
FEBRUARY
- Took the first of what would be many trips to Los Angeles to work on Anime Expo and Project Anime.
- Randomly took an air boat ride in the Florida swamp because, you know, I’m random that way.
MARCH
- Took another trip to Los Angeles for work on PA/AX some more.
- Took another trip to Los Angeles two weeks later… on my way to Japan for the first time. I spent eight days being the tallest person in the room.
- I went to Tokyo Disney SEA.
- I went to Disneyland (in Los Angeles) with the voice of Gir.
- I won a $500 Apple gift card for telling a goofy story online about my old IIc.
APRIL
- Took a quick trip to Atlanta to look a party spots for some adult website.
- Was the best man in my best friend’s wedding… on a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas.
MAY
- Saw Tom Petty in concert! I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.
- Went to Los Angeles again.
- Dealt with loss as my father’s wife passed away.
- Survived Year Two of Florida Anime Experience with the first ever appearance of Terri Hawkes (the voice of Sailor Moon!)
JUNE
- Back in Los Angeles again… this time to visit E3!
- Return to Los Angeles at the end of the month to set up for Anime Expo and Project Anime.
JULY
- Survived the hell, horror, and amazement of Anime Expo 2012. My eyes were open to a lot of things that one week in Los Angeles.
- Found out a cheesy horror film I did in 1991 was finally coming out on DVD.
- Read the Steve Jobs book. I’ve revisited a lot in that book since then (after years of being told that I am “an asshole just like Steve Jobs.”)
- Returned to Los Angeles for Anime Expo follow up meetings… and new perspective.
- Ran, successfully, InvaderCON II: DOOMCON in Los Angeles. Amazing things happened.
- Finished laying the groundwork (after months of set up) for what has since become Talent For Cons by booking voice actors in Anime Expo and Florida Supercon.
- Announced a new show for the Jacksonville market called WasabiCon (since EXPcon had fallen completely off the radar.)
AUGUST
- Ran events at Gen Con in Indianapolis again. Good times!
- I spent a lot of this month recovering from the Anime Expo/InvaderCON/Project Anime stuff in July.
SEPTEMBER
- Dragon*Con in Atlanta, Georgia. I helped some Edgar guy host events at a party at the Hard Rock Cafe there. While there, I saw a sci-fi celebrities drunk daughter dance on a stripper pole. (I love my life.)
- Lots and lots of catch up work that month…
OCTOBER
- Wound up visiting EPCOT on the 30th anniversary of the park’s opening. Turned out it was a clever day to take my friend Marc Perez there for his first time.
- Launched the very first PinUpalooza. It was a lukewarm event (after getting dates bounced around and whatnot) but we proved the event was a solid concept. Already planning Year Two.
- Because one con just wasn’t enough, we ran WasabiCon that same month, too. One of the best cons assembled in two months EVER.
NOVEMBER
- Took another cruise for my five year wedding anniversary with one of the most patient women on the planet. This time we found ourselves in Belize and Cozumel, Mexico. (It seems that I still need to write a blog post about this since I didn’t see one while writing this.)
- Spent Thanksgiving with my dad… because that’s what family does.
- Got blind sided (for the first time in my life) by a surprise birthday party. I have some amazing fucking friends.
DECEMBER
- Launched ANOTHER new event in 2012 – Cosplay Christmas. It was holiday goodness that will return in 2013.
- Went to Busch Gardens for the first time in yeaaars.
- Was a groomsman in the AMAZING wedding of Troy and Kim Doerner.
- Returned to Los Angeles for the first time since July to start work on Project Anime 2013 again. Saw some geeky stuff.
- Spent the first Christmas in 13 years without my wife… but got to spend it with my dad. My heart was happy, but my lungs were in pain. (Long story.)
SO – cities I found myself in during 2012:
- Atlanta
- Cozumel
- Indianapolis
- Jacksonville
- Los Angeles
- Orlando
- Miami
- Naussau
- San Diego
- Tokyo
And now for that part we all do during a perceived time of renewal – plan for the future. So what are my goals in 2013? I have a couple of things to work on, sure, like anyone else. I like keeping things simple, though, so here are the three things that I will concentrate on in this new year.
- Lose weight. (Cliche, yes, but truly needed at this point.)
- Blog more. (In reading about my past year, I realize that I didn’t write as much about most of it that I should have.)
- Continue onward. (I created a lot in 2012; now I have to build it up even more.)
So here we go…
HOLY SHIT I’M OLD.
0I’m sitting at a desk in a Marriott hotel room overlooking Tampa Bay. (Tampa, for those of you that don’t know, is the “New Jersey” of Florida. FYI.)
Anyway, I’m sitting here getting some work done (before leaving to spend the day in a theme park) and I’m getting the usual barrage of Facebook messages, tweets, and texts proclaiming happy birthday.
In short, I’m older. I’m almost older than dirt and barely younger than Joey Snackpants. In either case, I feel like this…
An old building in the middle of nowhere that looks cool, but people are usually afraid to stop at.
Or something.
(I took that photo last night driving through the middle of Florida and hipter-grammed it.)
Either way, thanks for the the birthday wishes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to stop by the local Walgreens to pick up some Geritol and a walker.
So #Hipster It Hurts & I’M (almost) ON A BOAT!
1Good morning Internet! I am writing you a short note to let you know that I will miss you for the next few days. You see, I am getting on a boat for the Bahamas to see some guy and some girl get hitched.
This means two things:
1. I won’t be able to access teh Interwebz. As of about 2:00 PM today, I won’t be answering my phone and I’ll be counting the moments until I lose signal from any sort of cell tower.
2. I totally get to rock my new hipster hat on the boat while listening to music on my iPhone.
Expect pictures and other zany stuff when I return (and, yes, I still have to post the Tokyo DisneySEA stories from Japan; I know.)
Somehow my boring ass life wins free stuff on the Internet. Thanks #Mashable!
0So I wrote this short story and the other day and posted it on the Mashable website.
Later that day, this got posted on their site.
So… what delightful Fruit technology should I invest in? I’m thinking an new iPod. Shannon already has (and doesn’t want to upgrade) her iPad. Maybe throw in some money and get a Macbook Pro? (If so I would, literally, own four computers… rivaling the nerdyness of Joey Snackpants.)
Thoughts?
#HappyNewYear 2012 and stuff. I HAVE NOTHING PROFOUND TO SAY, but I’m happy. :)
0I am sitting at in the secret lair of Joey Snackpants deep in the mythical realm of Georgia flipping between Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2012 and CNN’s New Year’s Eve with Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper.
As I type this, Lady Gaga is performing.
Here’s a random photo of my Optimus Prime toys.
I really don’t have anything profound to say. 2011 was awesome.
I plan on making sure that 2012 is even better.
Happy New Year, folks.
So Ryan & Annie got married yesterday. Congrats! Here’s some random photos of it all…
0
That’s me in my hotel room the night before. Geeky wedding goodness would start the next morning. Even Joey Snackpants was on hand (and staying in a room one floor above me in the hotel.)
Getting dressed in Snackpants’ room for the wedding. PIMP.
Ryan taping where we’re supposed to stand. All that Wasabi Animusical training PAID OFF!
Notice the map for placing the gaff tape.
Chairs.
I stand here.
Ryan got his arm in the photo at the last minute. DAMMIT!
Snackpants putting on Ryan’s boutineer… mainly because none of us knew how to. (Snacky actually put all of ours on.)
Ooooh. Pretty.
Chairs again.
Yes, I know. I have pretty eyes.
Shannon Croom. WEDDING PRO.
Annie walking down the aisle… PLUS that back of Ryan’s head!
View of those crazy kids getting hitched from behind home plate.
Photo of the photographers photographing the girls while photosynthesis is taking place (The sun and the green grass… yeah. I know. Weak. I’m a running short on caption ideas, though.)
More men in suits. DOUBLE PIMP.
Dressed up for a wedding. TRIPLE PIMP.
Why did I take a photo of my salad? I. Don’t. Know. I was really hungry, though.
Shannon sitting at the head table… LIKE A BOSS.
My photograph of the photographers.
FUN FACT: Those little Mickey Mouse things on the tables? Not candy. SOAP.
The Newlywed Scion #1
The Newlywed Scion #2
The Newlywed Scion #3
The Newlywed Scion #4
