Posts tagged Christmas
Review: When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State0
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I got this book right around the Christmas holiday in 2011, but I never really felt up to reading it after that season ended. Enter: December of 2012 – I decided to drive to see my father for Christmas (since my wife would be out of town.) The trek to his place from mine? About six hours round trip…
Perfect for a short audio book.
Thus I stepped back into Dorsey’s twisted world of Serge A. Storms and ultra-stoner Coleman. The problem is, his “twisted world” is, sadly, based on the real world of Florida. I live here and while folks outside the Sunshine State might think some of the characterizations and claimed “standard holiday news” events are extreme examples, they are (in fact) a disturbing norm thanks to our odd ball population.
The book was a short, fun romp through a holiday season in Tampa, Florida in Tim’s usual style of dark humor and creative murder for the betterment of man. It’s probably still a fun book to read outside Christmastime, but there’s more fun in doing so when you’re surrounded by plastic Santa Claus statues and palm trees. And stuff.
Merry Christmas and stuff!
This year was spent with the in-laws who drove down from the mythical land of Georgia to partake in a true South Florida Christmas. What, you ask, is a “true” South Florida Christmas? Well, I moved to Florida in 1988, and this year has been the warmest holiday I can remember since then. The temperature is about eighty degrees and, yes, I am wearing shorts.
Ho, ho, ho and and turn on the A/C.
Karma woke us up at 7:30 AM to open gifts because she believes that she is a human child and not a canine. This resulted in Shannon torturing her by making her wear a Snuggie made for dogs. (Photo of the act of evil taking place here.) The next few hours were spent opening the dozens of gifts that somehow found their way to our tree. A majority of my gifts were (as you see in the above photo) Optimus Prime related. My mother-in-law is a huge fan of Eeyore and (thus) her gifts were also acquired based on her fondness of a character.
Both characters, ironically, were voiced a number of times by the same actor.
So this year was a Peter Cullen Kind of Christmas.
Whether you believe in God, Allah, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster – I don’t care. What I do care about is joining in a celebration that promotes goodwill towards one another and peace on Earth.
Merry Christmas to my family, friends, fans, and even that annoying asshole who cut me off on I-95 yesterday. I’m am truly a lucky man to be surrounded by so many amazing people in my life.
2. Lethal Weapon – Nothing says Merry Christmas like buying your tree from a psychotic pre-complete meltdown Mel Gibson. Oh… and pre-crazy Gary Busey too!
So what is the greatest Christmas movie EVAH?! Find out on Joey Snackpants’ blog!!!
4. A Muppet Family Christmas – Crisis on Multiple Earths: The Muppet Saga! Proving that Sesame Street, The Muppets and Fraggle Rock all exist in the same universe.
For those of you that HAVEN’T heard the story: I asked my wife to marry me in New York City.
On top of the Empire State Building.
On Christmas day.
(My guy friends we less than thrilled with the whole “setting the bar” thing.)
I occasionally update new photos (and old ones that I scan) on my Flickr account. In doing so, I get to revisit a lot of photos I’ve taken while travelling. Each Friday, I plan on posting a photo that I think is interesting. Maybe you’ll think so, too.
8. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – The film that turned the name Griswold into a holiday adjective to describe that guy who lives on your street. (You know who he is.)