1. Michael
    October 11, 2010 @ 10:52 AM

    The waves of calm and sorrow are full steam today as the depth of the loss settles in. Chris was a conscience, encourager (in a way she was very much responsible for a LOT that I am involved with today), and most importantly a dear friend.

    On saying good bye on a social network: being somewhat “old school”, personal interaction is much more preferred. Then, when I look that universe of friends and connections “Skates” has/had, the social network provides another way to connect, converse and commiserate (especially with as far flung are the real people behind the profiles of those who were warmed by Chris’ light).

    In a way, the social network seems to provide the same ‘venue’ as the funeral – neither of which are really for the loved one who has moved on; rather, more so for those left behind.

  2. Tweets that mention Life, Passing Away, and the strange ritual of Facebook. -- Topsy.com
    October 11, 2010 @ 11:05 AM

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tom Croom, Wasabizilla. Wasabizilla said: [Tom Croom's Blog] Life, Passing Away, and the strange ritual of Facebook. http://ow.ly/19on3L […]

  3. Thomas E. Reed
    October 15, 2010 @ 9:52 AM

    I have known Chris, on and off, for a long time. Last year I finally got her current phone number; I wanted to tell her that I was just starting work at Universal Studios, and wanted to talk to her. That was when I learned she had ovarian cancer.

    I called her, on the average, once every four weeks or so. Each time I was hoping to see her, she kept putting me off, although she was generous with advice about work. That should have told me something.

    The intense frustration I felt, and am feeling now, is that she did this to keep me from being depressed about her state. That was Chris, always trying to put the best light on everything. But I’m a person who feels the need to be a White Knight, and that I couldn’t do anything for her – not even bring her some freaking chocolate chip cookies – gave me exactly the same depression she wanted me to avoid.

    I wasn’t really close to Chris. I have no right to go to her funeral. I will, however, post everywhere I go to tell people just what a wonderful person she is. I like to think her spirit will keep me going at work, when nothing else will.

    Thanks for letting me vent on your blog.

  4. John
    October 15, 2010 @ 1:08 PM

    Tom – I can relate to what you are saying about the Facebook posts. I can tell you, as her brother, we are finding great comfort as a family by these posts. We have been able to see how many lives Chris touched, and people that are also sharing the pain of losing her. We are greatly touched by this outpouring, and in a way stories are able to be shared that may not have been through a formal service. We do not have anything in stone yet as to what we will do for a service – but we do know it will be something more celebratory about her life in Orlando, and a private service in Louisiana with just family. And for Thomas Reed – I feel your pain in being unable to reach Chris. Her fight was very hard and her visits with people were very limited. It was hard for us to grip that there was nothing any of us could do, but we do know her friend’s love and support was always felt and it elevated her. If she called you friend and it sounds like she did, you have EVERY right to be at her service – don’t cheat yourself from that. Cancer does not leave the survivors many options, but I know that celebrating her life is what she would want. We will use Facebook to relay the details when we have them arranged – which is full circle to Tom Croom’s original post – this is the best possible way to reach the people closest to her (and this is from a non-Facebook, info security professional). Finally, thank you for your kind words about my sister – it helps more than you know.


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